Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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