hotel room ftw
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
