i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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