I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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