btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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