Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
