covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize