Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize