He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
