oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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