So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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