operation harelip BJ is a go
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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