Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
