im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
