Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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