but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize