Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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