we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
