he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize