you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
