so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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