I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
time to smoke my breakfast
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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