Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Will exercising make me less horny?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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