dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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