Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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