This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
