i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
