I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
