You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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