Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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