The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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