Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
