Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
