Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
