i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i black out too much to be "responsible"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
