i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
