It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
