I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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