It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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