I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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