He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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