she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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