So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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