just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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