Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
