My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
