I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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