so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
