chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
