I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
