I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
