Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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