Having a random hookup so left but love u
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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