shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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