i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
