it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
