that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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