Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
