Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
