i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
