Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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