Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize