I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
