if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize